Thank You Tribe...

Last weekend was rough. Chemo wore me out and I spent most of the weekend in bed, nauseous and crying. They told me it could be worse 3-4 days post chemo, but that everyone is different so we just needed to get through the first round and then the next one should be easier.  I hope so. My port site hurt when I move it, I couldn't keep much of anything in my body, my bones hurt and I woke up one night to bleeding gums. Gross! But like my sweet mama said, they won't all be bad days. I'm trusting that. She's a very wise woman.

Today I'm home in bed again, so very thankful for my tribe. This is difficult for all of us. No one knows what to say and I'm a blubbering mess. I've decided blubbering messes are beautiful because it means we still feel something. I'm so thankful for the text messages, emails, Facebook support and just knowing that I'm not alone in this. It means the world to me.

By 1pm I went back to BMC (my new home away from home). After chemo there Friday, I went back to urgent care on Sunday morning for a shot that boosts my white blood cell count to keep me healthy, then Monday afternoon after feeling horrible and having the bleeding gums, I was sent to the lab for blood work to see if my platelets were low. They were fine. I was given more anti-nausea meds and told if I wasn't feeling much better by morning to return to the infusion lab for fluids and meds. I spent the afternoon there hydrating and taking more meds and surveying the room. Today was the first day I saw a woman close to my age there. I found comfort in this. It's a strange thing to think when my friends are contemplating houses, babies and marriages, I'm contemplating how to get through incurable cancer. I am so thankful for friends who don't let me dwelt on it, and who help me stay present to what is most important in life: the tribe.

My family are my rocks. They cry with me, hold me when I totally fall apart, get up in the middle of the night to make sure I get all of my meds, drive me to appointments, and read me Hafiz. McMurray clan, you are the best family a girl could ever ask or hope for!!

Tribe - I continue to be so thankful for your messages, cards, gifts and generosity! Everyday my family is reminded that we are not alone in this, and that means the world to me! You are such an incredible part of this for me and I so appreciate all your encouragement, generosity and love.

Thank you all so much for going through this with me, loving me and being in this space with me. You are AMAZING!!!

xoxo,
Sarah