Hair.

Friday my hair REALLY started falling out...I brushed it one more time and much of what was left fell into a pile on the bathroom floor which my cat immediately wanted to play in. Weirdo.

My mom, sis and friends gathered at a friend's salon and all pitched in for the shave. It was highly liberating! I would never have considered cutting my hair short - but I was surprised that I freakin' love it! I can't wait to rock headscarves like my African friends!!

Last weekend was a whirlwind of friends and family getting me moved from my apartment back in with my parents, some good laughs, lots of naps, and finally having a bit more energy after being sick for a few days last week.

Yesterday was my first "bald" day at work - I work a scarf and my sweet co-workers shared the adventure and wore wigs, scarves and hats with me. I am so lucky to have such a great, supportive team walking through this with me.

Here they are in their wigs and hats! Amazing!

Some of my sweet supporters at Pacific Source. Love them!!

Tonight, my amazing friends hosted a "wiggin' out party" and showered me with scarfs, hats and wigs. It is a beautiful thing. In honor of Maya Angelou's death this week, I share her poem "Still I Rise..."

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may tread me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

-Maya Angelou

 

I am inspired everyday by the people who read my blog, love me and support me. Going into tomorrow's chemo I feel strong, confident and well loved.  This time I'll have chemo Thursday, get the white blood cell shot Friday and fluids from Friday-Tuesday so hopefully the effects will be less horrific than last time.  I can hardly believe that it has been over two months since this whole crazy thing started with the emergency surgery...life is slowly starting to resemble some sense of normal...ok, that is still a stretch of the imagination, but I'm trying to make space for more normal in my life.
What is normal anyway? Aren't we all trying to make the best of what we have? Cancer, or not, I will dance like I have diamonds at the meeting of my thighs....what a legacy you leave behind, Ms. Angelou. I am inspired.