I was still in disbelief...even to the point of making bad jokes - when asked if I had the new patient paperwork, I called it the "welcome packet." No one thought it was funny.
The Sarcoma specialist told us about the same information we had heard - it's sarcoma but they are still unsure of its origin....and the bad news: the ct scan last Friday showed that when the mass ruptured, it left residual cancer in my abdomen; surgery didn't get it all.
The doctor was compassionate and kind and recommended chemo. I could do chemo at home with my doctor and check in at OHSU in June to see if it was working. We were so in shock all the questions I had planned to ask slipped my mind and all I could do was say "ok" and cry. Mom did ask about alternative options..specifically nutrition. The response: you can't starve cancer. You just need to eat. I'm not buying that.
We just sat there. Mom, Dad and me. Totally stunned. The rest of the afternoon was a blur of social workers and nurses giving us their cards, resource lists. I texted my sister. We tried to take a breath by having lunch at Papa Hayden's in Sellwood before driving home.
Today I've been taking it all in, sitting with what cancer means. Reading about the importance of nutrition and potential alternative therapies and hope-filled stories of survivors. There is still a lot to consider based on all the books I've been reading the past month and a half. Tuesday I'll see the surgeon for the final ok to go back to work on Wednesday. I'll also see the oncologist Tuesday in Bend to learn more about chemo before I make my decision.
In the meantime, our house fluctuates between crying and laughing...life still happens. Cancer doesn't stop that. The journey continues. Thank you for all the prayers, encouragement, assistance and kindness. I am absolutely blown away by the tribe that we have.
We (specifically, I) am very much a firm believer in proper nutrition and ph balance. We are going to a naturalist this month!
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